Mon Cheri, bon jour, It is the Dreaded Monday Morning. Help, I have tears in my eyes....... A long Sunday and the Dreaded week starts.

No reading anymore. I have put the books away for a while. I am not ready I guess. The premise is the compete self, including the sensual woman equals strength. I want my strength, but I do not want that strength to be vulnerable. I think I will go back to my wall of fear and rules that everyone is a liar. .I will be immune to tears! At least what I have cultivated inside will be safe and I can grow myself. No one will take that away from me.

Thought two happened between 4am and 5am. To be beautiful is a curse, not a blessing. To every woman who does not like her thights, smile, weight, hair, nose or whatever, WAKE UP. When your man says he loves you, he means it. My fantsy....to be loved by a blind man.

Monday, new week, new start, will Gary show up, not. will creepy people walk in, yes. When Gary was there, I felt safe, he was a boxer, army guy, and an ex-MP. I knew he could handle things. Now, it is Abby and I and someone I do not know. I am left to rely on myself to protect Abby.

Here goes, lets see what this new guy has got. Don't worry about me mon cheri, I will get over this too. Won't happen again. Oh Mon Dieu, Mon Cheri, Je nes pas tem. I hurt.