Sunday, January 29, 2012

I'LL BE YOUR HUCKELBERRY......

Bon jour beloved.

 Lately, the body shop has been an interesting mix of employee counseling and gun toting customers. I spent last Saturday working on paperwork and had two guys in the booths cleaning them.... I know my booths! I designed, paid for, named them, Paris and London.  And I have babied them and cared for the last three years. I know how I want them cleaned! So, in my klutziness way, (inherited from my daughter) I am in Paris showing them how to remove the grates and I fell into the pit!!! Not hurt but feeling high on the stupid scale. Jimmy Joe Bob was trying to help me out of the pit and fell in with me.

 Anyway, I was thrown out of the booth and the gentlemen completed their job.  The paint booths have pits in the concrete floor that is a large air duct.  With great power, the booth sucks air through the vent and filters it before it goes out of the building.  These are large concrete pits with grating over them.  There are filters that go into the grates to start the filtering process.  These are changed every morning, early and the booths are vacuumed.  Filters are very expensive but essential to keep the dust out of the paint on the car.  When I turn on the booths early in the morning, it sounds like a jet engine starting up.  They are very powerful and need to be respected.

It is Sunday and my God Given day of rest. I keep thinking about what I need to do at work. At work....At work......

The same Jimmy Joe Bob ran (accidentally) a customer car into another employee car and damaged the employee car. Now I have to sort out who, when how one employee pays another. I feel like Solomon. Of course, I had run a short errand. It seems to me that issues start while I am not there putting into me a paranoia about leaving.

Tuesday I, my attorney, an employee and others went to small claims court and proceeded to turn it into a trial. The psycho Mr. Shears, gets up and starts to tell his life story prompted by his attorney. My attorney 'OBJECTED' over and over. It went on, I painted the Accord that belonged to the really putrid Mr. Shears, the kind of self righteous person everyone loves to hate, for free.  I painted his car for FREE as an act of kindness and he still sued me!  The previous owner of the paint shop, painted his car years ago and he felt he should have it done again for free.  He was two years out of warranty.  He harassed me for a year and finally, I told him I was tired of hearing from him and would paint his car for free to get him to go on with his life. After it was painted, my employee shut the front drivers door of the 13 year old car and it did not open again. (I hate cars) I told my employees to leave it alone. I painted it for free, he can get his own door fixed.

The disgusting, low life Mr. Shears, sued me saying I broke his car door on purpose because I was mad about painting his car for free. I know so well that one good turn does NOT deserve anther.  He did it out of spite, breaking the law, attorney fees etc., etc., etc., saying I owe him several thousand dollars. COMPLETELY beyond belief! What is wrong with a mind who does that. So, trial went on and on. Judge announced she needed to think over the case and would get back to us. News for Shears, He may win, but I won't pay him. I will sit in jail if they make me, but won't pay him a penny. to be continued.........

I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth....Shangri La.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

"SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE A NUT, SOMETIMES, YOU F...ING DON'T"

Good evening beloved!! There comes a time in life where you experience the feeling of living in a sit-com and that reality is now on a plasma screen. Isn't that fun. They call it the new reality, I guess. As I sit here writing body shop stories, my friend sits next to me watching yet another sit-com. If you are a dear person who finds my humor as funny as I do, congratulations, you are not normal either.

To day, at work was like any other. I have been dogging my auto painter, Will, as I am convinced of something, not sure of what, but was out to prove it. I am sure he knew what I was up to half way through the day of peeking around paint booths at him, as he asked me if I wanted to go in the booth and observe him blow himself. (Oh, by the way, that means blowing the dust off with an air hose before painting a car, something I insist on.) I told him no, I just only wanted to know if he tacked the hose first. Ah Ha! I got him, he was NOT tacking the hose.

A gentleman, OG they are called, Old Gangsters, came in mean as a snake. Greetings were met with growls. My gentleman estimater was writing an estimate he requested and my radar went up. I heard him tell Leslie a blunt NO when she asked if he could move his car as a customer he was blocking in wanted to leave.

As he scowled through a magazine in my lobby, he stated if the stupid estimater would hurry, he would leave. I asked,.....Sir, may I move your car for you so this man may leave? "NO", SIR, if you will be so kind to let me borrow your keys, I will be happy to move your car for you, "NO." May I ask why?.?.? My sister is in the car, she can move it. Well by now, it was the tone, the turning of the pages of the magazine, the growls and the other people in the room gauking.....Sir, please take your car elsewhere......sir, I am telling you to take your car elsewhere, all in the room were frozen....SIR, I OWN THIS FACILITY AND I AM TELLING YOU....TO....TAKE YOUR CAR AND LEAVE! Finally, we were in combat, moments passed as all wondered what was to happen next. He slowly put down his magazine and walked out of the building. In the meantime, I was in the parking lot moving his car.

All back to normal for the moment.

We have had a pink jag for a couple of weeks. Mr. Jag is very picky, very, cannot smile either. He was complaining that there was a bump under the felt liner under the hood of his car started sometime after we worked on it last......ok......It is 25 degrees out, thankfully as we, Big Bear and I remove it, we find a wasp nest the size of a baseball. Now, how I managed to do that, I sure do not know. Well, Mr. Jag insisted we order him a new liner as it had wasp coodies on it. Price check, please. Mr. Jag, a new liner for your jag, from jag, is well over $200.00 and there is really nothing wrong with yours. Yes sir, it has wasp coodies on it. One expensive Jag part coming up.

OMG!!! Got to tell you about Chief Dorry of Abraham Heights. Abraham Heights Police Dept. has owed me $800. since last summer when I repaired two of their squad cars which ran into each other. I gave up on that money, but sent a letter to the Chief Dorry anyway, a few months ago regarding the past due bill. This is right out of Dr. Seuss. Leslie answered the phone at work and and a gentleman on the other end demanded my cell phone number stating who he was and that it was an emergency. Not sure of what to do, but completely used to crack-pot customers, she called my cell on the way to the bank, to give me his number telling me he wanted an emergency call back asap.....k....Sir, this is Shangra la returning your call..... Then I became involved in the most bizarre conversation I have ever had with an adult.

The Chief, questioned me on what the balance of the bill was that just came to his attention,,,,,, well sir, as you know I am not in my office and it is not in front of me, but as I recall it was around $800. "Yes, it is", he says, "I am looking at it." I also recall sending it a second time a few months ago. "Uh-Uh-m-m-ugh. Well, I just became aware of it today." Yes sir. "I need to explain a situation to you, as you are aware, the previous chief, the ACTING Chief, the previous Chief was not authorized to make these repairs and well the department is not even the same people when the ACTING Chief blah, blah, blah, excuse me, Chief Maurie, what you are trying to tell me is that you are not going to pay the bill. "No, not at all"......a complete repeat of the conversation began again till I said, Sir, again, what you are telling me is you feel that I have some responsibility or control in your department politics and since it is my fault, you are not going to pay your bill. Sir, if you are not going to pay the bill, just say it. "OF COURSE, the department is going to pay the bill, but YOU have to work that out with the officer who was the previous ACTING CHIEF."

(You piece of shit) Sir, may I say I have respect for the previous ACTING Chief and feel he was ACTING in the department's best interest when he was repairing the equipment and I find it slimy how you are using him to squirm out of your responsibility. "OH, Thank you, we cannot pay this bill, may I tell him he does not have to pay it either???"

Yes you may sir, but only if I can use that same lame excuse the next time I get stopped for speeding. (said in sarcasm) "Oh, of course you may, thank you again...........bye".........did that really just happen??? The clerk in the bank asked, "were you really talking to the police??? Lady you got balls!"

Good Night Bill, Good Night Andy, Good Night Gilbert and Good night Jesse. Bon Nuit, Shangra La.