Thursday, July 22, 2010

New Employees

Mon Cheri, Change is always difficult.....for all concerned. We had two new people start on Monday. Neither seems to get it. Am I being to picky? Can I expect an employee to move quicker than a snail? Not, that is asking way too much. Is it too much to expect that they NOT clock in in the morning and then sit at the picnic table and eat breakfast? Is it too much to hope they don't sit and yawn all day? It seems to be rocket science to take a phone message. How many times should a person be told which part is the fender and which part is the quarter panel? Repeating it for three solid days, one may expect that it has sunk in. Silly me! Who do I go to for advice. Abby is training like she has done it all her life. I am so proud of her. I just do not see it happening. I see apathy.

In the shop, I see apathy in that new person. s.........l..........o..........w........
They BEG and BEG to be given a chance and then proceed to blow it. I do not get it. Can someone tell me what to do??? I am going to talk to both of them before they leave today. Maybe if they are told that I have not seen anything impressive out of them this week and won't see them next week if I do not see something, they will wake up.

We have had happy customers all this week and happy employees. (pre existing, that is)

Today is creeping slowly....the clock has stopped moving I think. The heat is gloomy...but much better than the snow.

I am back, I just did an estimate. I do not do many of those anymore. I am good at it and should do more. I keep feeling like it is Friday, but it is only Thursday. There must be a time warp going on. Maybe that explains why I am 58 because that cannot possible be true. I know I am only 40. I sure could use a drink right about now. Wouldn't that be fun Mon Cheri, just sitting and laughing over a Cosmo. Did I mention, I am thinking about moving to France? A small cottage in the country with a bicycle to get around.

back to work, my love, me

Monday, July 19, 2010

Mon Cheri, bon jour, It is the Dreaded Monday Morning. Help, I have tears in my eyes....... A long Sunday and the Dreaded week starts.

No reading anymore. I have put the books away for a while. I am not ready I guess. The premise is the compete self, including the sensual woman equals strength. I want my strength, but I do not want that strength to be vulnerable. I think I will go back to my wall of fear and rules that everyone is a liar. .I will be immune to tears! At least what I have cultivated inside will be safe and I can grow myself. No one will take that away from me.

Thought two happened between 4am and 5am. To be beautiful is a curse, not a blessing. To every woman who does not like her thights, smile, weight, hair, nose or whatever, WAKE UP. When your man says he loves you, he means it. My fantsy....to be loved by a blind man.

Monday, new week, new start, will Gary show up, not. will creepy people walk in, yes. When Gary was there, I felt safe, he was a boxer, army guy, and an ex-MP. I knew he could handle things. Now, it is Abby and I and someone I do not know. I am left to rely on myself to protect Abby.

Here goes, lets see what this new guy has got. Don't worry about me mon cheri, I will get over this too. Won't happen again. Oh Mon Dieu, Mon Cheri, Je nes pas tem. I hurt.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Sunday morning decisions and reflections

Dearest Beloved Mon Ami, more reading........

"sex itself must always, it seems to me, come to us as a sacrament and be so used, or it is meaningless. The flesh is suffused by the spirit, and it is forgetting this in the act of love-making that creates cynicismn and despair" May Sarton-U.S. Poet

Well, Mon Ami, you must be wondering what books I am reading these days. I am becoming whole again...body, spirit, mind and soul. Through this process, my inner power and strength will be in control and the WOMAN I am will be open, loving, sensual and complete.

Whew, enough, too heavy.

Last night I was watching "American Gangster" late in bed as I could not sleep. In a scene, the Viet nam connection, drug guy told Denzel at the end of the war that is was ok to quit while you are ahead and it is different than just quitting.

That wisdom I am going to apply to the buttman. He can keep his money and the peace I will have will be greater than the punishment he will face someday. relief.

Now, lets talk about Greg, my estimator I have talked about in the past. He has been with me 1.5 years. I have treated him like a son. He has been, what I thought, a friend. He took his lunch tote, which I gave him, and snuck out Thursday at 3:00, saying not a word to anyone. He has not answered his cell all weekend or returned any voice messages. I looked at the history on his computer, MY computer and he has been looking for a job on my time, on my computer. I believe he has found one and rather than be any kind of man, he bolted without even a goodbye. I will confess, Mon Cheri, I did cry. It hurt. I fault no one for finding a better job and moving on. I fault the lack of courage and character to at least say goodbye. There is no maturity or manhood in that action.

I am finding my inner strength and spiritual side, strengthened by my sensuality, to make me a better woman from this experience. Only my son, will ever be treated like my son, unless there is a true, and earned trust.

My son, Hugh, my daughter in law, Abby and I are a stronger unit now. We will be a united, respectful and strong management team. I must share...

When John blew up, it was his own inner problems he keeps inside that caused him to loose control at the first person that spoke to him. That person was Hugh. He did not have any control over his anger, screamed cusswords, waving his arms and walking in circles. He went after Hugh, in his face spitting on him as he cussed him out. John wanted to hit him and we all thought that may happen. I got nowhere trying to calm John and he left cussing all the way out the door. All through this, my son, Hugh, stayed very calm, showed no anger back and talked softly at John. I know that took self discipline on his part under the circumstances. I do believe Hugh's calm common sense kept a fight from happening and more legal issues. I have known that John had life problems and was not a happy person. I actually went to him the day before, put my hand on his shoulder and asked him if he wanted to spend some time talking. No, he said, he said he was doing great. No More MOM to the world. I am an employer. I own a business and fix cars.

Mon Cheri, you are my best friend. Love, Lynn

Saturday, July 17, 2010

The week we blew up

Beautiful Lady...

"and the day came when the risk that it took to remain tight in a bud was greater than the risk it took to blossom" Anais Nin - French novelist

It is Friday night and I am alone, on my bed, wide awake. I took a nap afterwork today so.....now you get to listen to be bespeak.

"A sex goddess has the ability to be whole within herself, because only then can she truly connect with another human being. To be a sex goddess means to cultivate a deep sense of self and your own connectedness with who you are"

I have been reading, duh. I have talked about the loss I have had of knowing who I am anymore. The process is changing and I am emerging or connecting with myself. This week, the shop emotionally blew up. It started with one employee going postal. Serious, I called and talked with the police for a while after. I could not calm him down, get him to go outside or stop screaming cuss words. This is a man who for a year and a half has never had anything but a smile on his face and kind words on his lips. It scared me, I must admit. I told him to take his tools and leave. He threw some things at me as he left. I came in the next morning in shorts and a tee shirt and did his job. we have a new employee starting Monday.

Greg, our estimator, my friend, I thought, is gone. That story is still too much for me to begin to share yet. I have a new estimator starting Monday. No one is not replaceable. Lesson learned, do not get close to employees.
There are other issues, a crazy guy harrassing me.....a scary guy....and a very elderly couple suing me because she picked the color out of a book, signed it and said it was the wrong color. I have the computer mix print out and it was the color she picked out. They do not get it. Now I have to hire an attorney and go to court. I told her if they got me the correct code, I would take care of her. They say they had the right code and I did it wrong. The computer will prove the point, but they are old and I hate to do that to them. I hate it that they are doing that to me!!!

I am getting sleepy and I have a man on my mind........sweet dreams. Monday starts another week of body shop joy.