Sunday morning decisions and reflections

Dearest Beloved Mon Ami, more reading........

"sex itself must always, it seems to me, come to us as a sacrament and be so used, or it is meaningless. The flesh is suffused by the spirit, and it is forgetting this in the act of love-making that creates cynicismn and despair" May Sarton-U.S. Poet

Well, Mon Ami, you must be wondering what books I am reading these days. I am becoming whole again...body, spirit, mind and soul. Through this process, my inner power and strength will be in control and the WOMAN I am will be open, loving, sensual and complete.

Whew, enough, too heavy.

Last night I was watching "American Gangster" late in bed as I could not sleep. In a scene, the Viet nam connection, drug guy told Denzel at the end of the war that is was ok to quit while you are ahead and it is different than just quitting.

That wisdom I am going to apply to the buttman. He can keep his money and the peace I will have will be greater than the punishment he will face someday. relief.

Now, lets talk about Greg, my estimator I have talked about in the past. He has been with me 1.5 years. I have treated him like a son. He has been, what I thought, a friend. He took his lunch tote, which I gave him, and snuck out Thursday at 3:00, saying not a word to anyone. He has not answered his cell all weekend or returned any voice messages. I looked at the history on his computer, MY computer and he has been looking for a job on my time, on my computer. I believe he has found one and rather than be any kind of man, he bolted without even a goodbye. I will confess, Mon Cheri, I did cry. It hurt. I fault no one for finding a better job and moving on. I fault the lack of courage and character to at least say goodbye. There is no maturity or manhood in that action.

I am finding my inner strength and spiritual side, strengthened by my sensuality, to make me a better woman from this experience. Only my son, will ever be treated like my son, unless there is a true, and earned trust.

My son, Hugh, my daughter in law, Abby and I are a stronger unit now. We will be a united, respectful and strong management team. I must share...

When John blew up, it was his own inner problems he keeps inside that caused him to loose control at the first person that spoke to him. That person was Hugh. He did not have any control over his anger, screamed cusswords, waving his arms and walking in circles. He went after Hugh, in his face spitting on him as he cussed him out. John wanted to hit him and we all thought that may happen. I got nowhere trying to calm John and he left cussing all the way out the door. All through this, my son, Hugh, stayed very calm, showed no anger back and talked softly at John. I know that took self discipline on his part under the circumstances. I do believe Hugh's calm common sense kept a fight from happening and more legal issues. I have known that John had life problems and was not a happy person. I actually went to him the day before, put my hand on his shoulder and asked him if he wanted to spend some time talking. No, he said, he said he was doing great. No More MOM to the world. I am an employer. I own a business and fix cars.

Mon Cheri, you are my best friend. Love, Lynn