"I Hear The Train A' Commin......(AGAIN)

It's Rollin' Around The Bend........

Gentle Readers, Hello.  It is Saturday Afternoon and I am here while the crew is working to catch up on the work load.

It was Tuesday, around midnight, an unknown assailant used a rock found on the ground to break out the window of the office at "THE BODY SHOP".  The assailant then broke the blinds climbing through the broken window and went through my office looking for cash.  It was clear that the object was to get cash as they took about $25.00 in coin, from the desk.  It was foolish for them to think I would leave anything more than that.

The police responded quickly to the break and enter with skillful and meticulous CSI work.  The office was dusted from top to bottom with black powder and I am sure if there was a finger print, it was found. 

So......bottom line, they broke a window I have to replace, broke the blinds and only got a few dollars.  Not worth the 2 hours I spent washing the black powder from every surface.

People, I am a small business, not a Walmart!  I am scraping to get by.  Leave me alone!!!!

In closing, I would like to apologize in advance for my warped sense of humor and tell you that a person came in today for an estimate on their "Woe Woe".   Allow me to translate, Volvo.

Have a blessed weekend, what is left of it.    Shangri La

I AM EXTRAORDINARILY PATIENT,

PROVIDED I GET MY OWN WAY IN THE END.

Margaret Thatcher 


Gentle Body Shop Readers,

Last week, I had one of those experiences that, we all wish to avoid, but when they happen, cannot avoid, but need to handle.

One of my employees came to work with the attitude from hell and was ready for a fight.  He had been in my office several days before having a pity party for himself and we talked about that his inability to hold his temper in check is doing him no good in the work place.  He agreed with me and said he would work on it and understood that his problems at home should stay at home. 

I heard the screaming from the front office and ran out the door to the shop.  To make a long story short, the person screaming was the very employee who agreed just a few days before to control his temper.  I stood between him and my painter, two big guys and used my mother voice and said, "Knock it off!" I told him several times to "GO HOME AND COOL OFF"  He preferred to get in my face, scream at me to fire him if I dared, so I finally said, " OK, YOU ARE FIRED, NOW GO HOME".  Seriously, my hands shook for two hours after that but I do not let anyone see it.  It was really ugly and I was sick.

None the less, everyone is relieved that he is gone, the shop drama has gone to nothing.   I had him replaced within three days.  What was the point of all that? Doesn't he know it got him nowhere????

We have had a good week so far.  We have close to 40 cars on our lot and customers are complaining about having to park in the street.  Music to my ears.

I recently received a call from a man who owned a body shop in Northern Ohio whom had stumbled upon said BLOG.   He had to call and tell me that they had gotten absolutely nothing done that day!  They sat in his office reading aloud the Blog and laughing over the stories.  Now, realize, he also felt the PAIN, the BODY SHOP PAIN.  

I asked him how he found me and he said he had a techie working for him. He insisted I call him if I was ever in the area so he could buy me a drink as I was the funniest person he would ever know,  I think I will do that.  A kindred spirit.

Seems we drink a lot in the "BODY SHOP"

Bon Nuit,  Shangri La

WASTING AWAY AGAIN IN MARGARITAVILLE....

...SEARCHING FOR MY LOST SHAKER OF SALT

Jimmy Buffett



Good Evening Shop Fans!  This program is coming to you from the "BEST BODY SHOP"  in the Midwest, YES SIR!  Ladies and Gentle men, I am saying The Best! 

OK, OK...it is the Margarita talking.  We have a car in-house which belongs to the owner of the Mexican Restaurant two blocks away.  Bless his heart, when he dropped his car off for repairs, he walked to the desk and set down a VERY large plastic glass with a lid on it, saying nothing and left.  After, we were all curious and I sniffed it. I said I thought it was lemon aid.  I took the straw..... and took a sip....OMG guys this is a Margarita!!! Quickly, they got three cups and we split the very good Margarita and all were happy and content.  Wow, some people are just too cool.

It has been a good couple of days.  Cars come and Cars go.  People come into our lives and they want to discuss their accident as it was a live changing event.  OK, I understand, it is hard and stressful and no one wants their lives complicated by an accident, rentals, repair and insurance hassle.  I figured that out a long time ago.  No one is happy to come in my shop.

None the less, I am happy when they do and when their insurance checks arrive.  Hey, we have to eat too.

Good night Road Warrior!

God Bless and Stay Sane,   Love, Shangri la

PS, I know a great Mexican Restaurant if you are interested!

 

I'M FOR TRUTH, NO MATTER WHO TELLS IT,

I'M FOR JUSTICE, NO MATTER WHO IT IS FOR.

MALCOM X


Good evening gentle readers, should I say, those masochists who, like I, enjoy the regular beatings we take from the public to be in any retail businesss...good evening, folks.

I am sitting at my desk, after hours, at work, paying bills and enjoying a Long Island Ice Tea.  (That is the great part of owning your own business) I decided, the hell with the bills, I need to write.  

We have been through the ringer in the last three weeks and the summer is just beginning.  I have got to tell you, I love the gangsters, the young ones and the OGs.  They provide so much entertainment and they sure have charisma and charm!  I almost told one that the "prison walk", holding up one's pants while said pants are around one's knees", is going out of fashion.  Come on gents, try the GQ look!  You will get many more women, actually have the respect of the neighborhood and inspire a new generation.  What you do not know, is you do not intimidate anyone, anymore.  I still make you pay for your metallic pink auto paint.

Speaking of, why does everyone call it a "PAINT JOB"  like a boob job?????  It is a paint service on your vehicle.  A "nose job, or a lube job, a blo... job."  But I hate to be asked how much is a "paint job".  It sounds so low class.  Public, it is a paint service!  When you call the contractor, do you ask how much to paint your kitchen..or how much for a kitchen job?

Oh well, so much for jobs.

I was recently contacted by a producer for reality programs to do one in my shop based upon this blog which he had read.  When I answered the phone and he said he was with Brownstone Pictures and wanted to talk to me about doing a show on my shop, I said, Yea, and I am the Queen Mary and hung up.  The phone rang again and he was laughing hard and asking me to not hang up.  I know, you won't believe me, but it is the truth.  I still do not believe it.  I talked to him on the phone and exchanged many emails.  I tried to take videos and took many of the floor.  Phone videos were new then.  During the course of this, I broke up a fight in the shop, had two customers I had to call the police on and had two employee temper tantrums but I dared not pull my phone and take a video!  If he could have seen the drama, it would have sold many a reality show.  I guess you just have to be here. 

In the course of this, I tried to envision what this young man looked like.  I visualized a fat nerd.  Sorry T.  So, being the curious type, I looked him up on Facebook.  He is a very handsome young man and if I were a few years younger.........but, we agreed to stay in contact in case the future reality show biz were to require a lady body shop owner.   Really, this did happen.  So, Dave Durango, your comment about a reality show....was right on!  I told you to be careful what you wished for.

We have just painted a DONK for a man who is completely unreasonable and we are at a loss of how to get rid of him.  We have people walk the lot and say, they want a "paint service" like that and he just thinks it is not good enough.  Let me say, he did his own body work and the spots he is unhappy are his body work under the paint and he says he gets it, but does not want to pay and take his car, he just leaves it and says he will think about it.   WHAT A MORON!  I am amazed at the patience of my GM  Peter, to listen to him go on and on and not loose his demeanor.  (ie., Go Off)  His DONK is still here and he now wants us to fix his bad bodywork, and he is willing to pay for it.  Go Peter!!!!!

“What the heck is a donk?” Let us explain.

Specifically, “donk” is the nickname for a customized 1971-76 Chevrolet Caprice or Impala. Many folks erroneously use it to describe any custom car with big wheels. To be clear, flashy wheels aren’t required, but if you want a showstopper, they certainly help.

Well, my Long Island Ice Tea is gone and I am going to drive home to go to bed to get up again and do this tomorrow. God Bless everyone and please pull up your pants, mother is watching.

Good night T. from LA.  You are NOT fat and NOT a nerd.

Love you, Shangri La

Employees:

Can't afford them, can't live with them, can't live without them.......can't kill 'em......just smile....:-)

"I am out of control and at times hard to handle,

but, if you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

MARILYN MONROE
6/26 - 8/62


Bon Jour,

It is hot and muggy and it is not even 10:00 AM.  Yesterday was full moon day and rum & coke evening.  Let me ask you, if your car was dinged or slightly damaged in the mall parking lot or at the grocery store, would they pay for the repairs?????  Would you even think of asking???

Well, Mr. Unrich, why did you expect me to pay for your mirror when it was fine when the car was finished, but damaged by the time you had time to pick it up, over a week later.  And why did I, as an act of good will buy a $79.00 part and fix it?  You, in gratitude, complained to the BBB, insulted me and stormed out.  GET REAL!  You also owe me for the original work which you did not pay for and refused to pay for when we re-did it because you were unhappy and weeping over a speck of dust at the bottom of the door.  I really do need to get better at telling people where to go.

Man Drama.   I cannot take anymore, Lets all stop complaining, please.    We HAVE to put up with the clientele, so lets be happy with each other. 

So, now you are putting up with my drama......enough.

I gave everyone the weekend off, closed for the Holiday.  Mental health break!

It is the beginning of summer, we do not know

"what" is going to fall from the sky, walk in the door or call next.  "How much is a free written estimate?"  Here we go, the adventure begins.  The summer of 2013 will be fun.  I need a bodyman and a standby painter and some good drugs.

Bon jour, Shangri La

NOBODY GETS JUSTICE.

PEOPLE ONLY GET GOOD LUCK OR BAD LUCK.

Orson Welles


Good Sunday Morning Body Shop Fans!  Bon Jour Mon Amis!  Lets reflect upon the people of the shop life, the customers, applicants and employees.  The last two weeks, after several weeks of not being able to light fires under certain employees, I decided the old motto of, "change your people, or change your people." was in order. 

I have learned the art of pissing someone off and having them quit, which is much better than going through the HR motions of warnings and finally firing them and then arguing with Unemployment, the State Department of Morons who love to spend your money.  Did you know if you come to work drunk and get fired, the state will pay you to stay home and drink more.  The scenarios are endless.  I had a young man get pinched and not show up for work for a week.  His fiancee called and said he was in jail and she was not paying the bail, so it was unknown when he is coming back.  I replaced him and when he finally called, his job was gone.  He was way past the legal "job abandonment" laws .  Yet he was paid unemployment!  Now I am a little smarter...I piss them off and they leave.  Usually, it takes very little to anger (spoiled and lazy Neanderthals) employees of a certain mentality.  Just asking them to pick up something usually does the trick, or ask them to hang up their cell phone and look at what they are doing. 

Thus, three employees are gone.  Now am trying to find replacements who want to work.  I interviewed a young man, who came to me, and we talked for quite a while.  We agreed he was experienced, wanted the job and was to call Friday and tell me how much notice he had to give at his present job.  He did not call, so I called him Saturday.  He answered the phone and hung up on me!  It seems they ignore teaching any kind of professionalism in school anymore, along with ethics.  If high school is the only schooling some people get anymore, it seems they need to teach young people how to behave in employment positions.  I am only obligated to employee them and pay them.  It is not up to me to teach them to get up in the morning and at least fake coming to work.

So, the customers.  Had an adult man leave his car for a repair to a door which was hit and needed replaced.  The work and price was agreed upon.  There was a small dent on the rear of the SUV that the customer did not want to pay for or fix.  Upon his picking it up, the first words out of his mouth was, "You were not able to fix that dent??"  Does this sound as offensive to you as it always does to me????  I had my Hot water heater replaced a month ago, I did not ask the plumber when he was done why he did not replace my furnace too!!!!!    

A father/son duo came in a while back with an old mustang they were flipping.  It was a mess, but they were all over cheap.  Did not want to pay for ANYTHING except paint.  Were told and told of the issues that may not look good.  Cried poor, did not care, just wanted it to look better.  It ended up looking better than it had a right to.  They came in screaming about how unhappy they were and pointed out areas of body work repair that we did not do.  I reminding them that they did not want it.  I ended the argument. He said, why didn't you just fix that part on the bumper, it would have taken 10 minutes.  I said, funny thing about employees, they won't work for free.  It would take two hours, and obviously you do not know anything about body work.  He said, well, if you had called I would have paid for it.  I said, Son, you came in all about budget, budget, budget (meaning cheap) and if you wanted a steak dinner, you should not have ordered a hamburger.  They paid and left with smiles on their faces.  Sometimes, I believe it is all a well planned act to try to get money back.  Woe to the business man who falls for it. 

We have not been making the magic number lately.  The number which means we can pay all the bills each week.  It is so tough on me, I get tied up in knots.  I just keep watching my 401K go into payroll.  The reason is the dead weight we were carrying.  Got rid of dead weight now need to find live weight.  It never ends, it is day to day, life or death and I am getting very weary.  There are more changes in the wind. 

I watched Chef Ramsey and saw the difference it made when the Chef was fired and a good one hired.  Say Goodnight Gracie, Frazier has left the building.

Hell's Bells and Let It Roll!

Mon Ami,   Bon jour,  

It is Sunday afternoon and I am not ready to begin again tomorrow.  Who do I try to kid???  It never ends in the first place.  This is where, I pick up where we left off...  

We are having a half price paint sale and out of somewhere in society come the very unusual.  Ring, Ring, Thank you for calling bla, bla, bla,,,,,,"I want to know how much you charge for replacing two fenders, repairing a bumper and...I am very sorry sir, I cannot estimate repair over the phone, you need to bring your vehicle in and... "CLICK".  You are probably tired of hearing that story, ME TOO! 

I am reading a book about character and the people who have in their real lives, exhibited extraordinary character and it's attributes.  I am humbled.  If I may, "Character is Destiny" by John McCain.  Not that I am political mind you, I am just so bull headed about proper behavior in society, especially in leaders.

My compressor friend, Mr. Durango was in this week, to repair the next most important machinery in the shop, the air compressors.  Long, wavy blond hair in a low ponytail.  Tight Wranglers with a slow, lazy gait.  It is amazing how the dust parts when he walks through the shop.  It is pure Reverence, man!

Another local shop owner called me this week regarding the local baseball team who thought we should spend a few grand each for advertising in the program and get 8 tickets in the cheap seats for it.  We said, Naw, don't think so. But thank You anyway. 

I was wiping a car in the back and look up and see two salesmen talking to my body man, Angel.  My philosophy is to scare them the first time they come in and they will be brief each time they come back.  Having never seen these men before, I go into my stern mode...Excuse me.....who are you?   Well, no one comes in my shop without my permission and you have one minute.  As they are shaking and leave quickly, there is several minutes of awkward silence.  I am feeling a little bit bad that I was so sharp, and Loudly, Angel says, "Well, you chased them the hell out".  Loud laughter erupted everywhere and broke the tension. All had a good laugh.  The one guy who has been with me since day one came up to me and said, "I have not heard you laugh in a long time."  Wow, I need to find myself, my old self again. He was right, I had not laughed since my son left.

I called a gal last week, who has left her totaled vehicle in my lot for 3 months now, promising me she is sending a tow to pick it up.  Now, bear in mind, I have been polite for 3 months and this last call I got firm.  Well, she told me I had an attitude problem.  WHAT!  Then she does what some women are so good at and went off on me and I could not get a word in, so I hung up.  Is it any wonder that I am not the nicest flower garden in the neighborhood anymore??

Dear Readers, it is a tough time to own a business.  That comes as no surprise, I am sure.  I had to referee an argument between a customer and my employee over what the customer said our price should be!!!  Would she go into Kroger and argue over the price of a can of peas?  I have to laugh or I would not be sane.  I sent her to my competitor. Let her argue with him. 

Remember my employees who tried the workers comp scamming things???  Well, they both have lost, but since it is bureaucratic, we go back and back for appeals.  I now have to attend a hearing on whether the one gal who scammed and lost has to pay back the money the state gave her.  DO YOU BELIEVE IT?!  They gave her the TEN GRAND. Now, I am sure she has spent it and why should I be involved in getting it back???  If I give a con artist money, and it is gone, who gives it back to me???  I know the state somehow thinks it is up to me to cover the money they gave her when I am begging them not to do so.  NOW, they want it back.  Hells Bells, Are they going to make a stone bleed, it is spent and gone people! The public sector are morons.  

I turn 61 next week and completely alone. I am sure that is why I am crabby.  A customer handed me a note this week with his phone number and an invite for dinner, another handsome gentle man told me I look liked the kind of lady who is and should be spoiled....I hesitated and he smiled and said that was a complement and just say thank you.  I guess it is good to not look my age, but my brain still hates the clock.  

We had over 45 cars last week and I am sure we will get as many this week.  Like I said, it does not end, we just keep on painting.

Thanks Devon (the painter)You rock.  God Bless, Shangri La, just getting a little older.  

Body Shop, The Play, Scene One

SETTING:  the front office in a auto body shop in the mid west.  Several people are sitting waiting on estimates.  Two male estimators are waiting on customers.

SCENE OPENS:  Hazel (65 year old lady) is sitting with her friend Mildred (70 year old woman) waiting on an estimator.

Hazel:  Mildred!!!!  did you just see what I just saw?  (said with surprise and shock)

Mildred:  What?!?  No, I was reading this People magazine. What happened?

Hazel:  Oh Mildred, what is this world coming to???  Some people must really be brought up in a barn.  (Hazel shakes her head in disgust)

Mildred:   What?

Hazel:  That guy getting his estimate just went into that bathroom and took a tinkle with the door open!!!!!!   THE DOOR OPEN!  and he washed his hands and flushed and...oh shhhhh, here he comes.

Mildred:  You have GOT to be kidding me, Hazel.  That is just dirty!  Oh,  shhhh shhhh shhhh.

Scene closes:  Phones ring, shop owner walks out of her office laughing (she saw it too)  More customers walking in.  Life goes on in the body shop.


Shangri La

Somewhere over the rainbow........

Bon Jour Mon Amis.....I just have to let everyone know this one.

I have seen people repair their own cars with:  bathroom calk, wall plaster and paper towels and glue, but today we estimated painting a car that the owner did his own bodywork using CONCRETE.   How creative is that?!  But jeez, it looked like hell.  

Shangri La